Self Portraits During the Coronavirus

Amidst the uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic, painting became one of the few

constants I had in my life. Having a time of day where I could block out the surrounding chaos

and simply focus on creating helped enormously in my ability to cope with the current situation.

It allowed me a space in which to process what was happening around me and channel my

thoughts and emotions into something productive.

The resulting paintings are both a reflection of pandemic era working conditions and my

mental state in the face of them. I avoided excessive planning, knowing that a long term project

would destroy my will to create. Every painting would be its own conflict. Whatever light

sketches, photo reference, and fleeting concepts I had in mind would have to be resolved by the

end of the day. These “small victories” effectively sustained my morale in what would have

been an otherwise hopeless period of time.

While my interest in the human face predates the coronavirus, dealing with the pandemic

forced me to reevaluate how I approached that interest and pushed me in the direction of self

portraiture. Coming out of summer break, I found myself unable to engage in the objective,

formal analysis that had previously interested me, and was instead drawn to a more personal,

subjective narrative. These paintings are not meant as a universal celebration of the face.

Rather, they are meant speak to my own identity and experience during the pandemic; as an

essential worker and a student, being deemed both necessary to society and completely

disposable, as an Asian American, in light of heightened anti-Asian xenophobia and racism, and

as someone who has struggled with mental health in one of, if not the worst mental health crises

of our time.

Ric Edelman College of Communication & Creative Arts